Leave Me in the Dark
by lilyrose29
Summary: Based on a true story, Edward and Bella met in Palestine in 1948. But when Edward is in jail, Bella is in an deathly accident. Will Edward ever see his beloved fiance again? And if he does, will she still love him even though she's "different"? All Human
1. Fighting For Love

**Hey Guys! I was on my little trip when I heard a story about a man who was in jail for fighting for what he believed and his girlfriend would visit him once a week. Long story short- I fell in love with this story and the nerd part of me wondered, "What if this was Edward and Bella?" **

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**Edward's POV**

You know, when you're sent to jail, it's usually because you did something wrong or illegal. But what I did is neither.

Since when is it wrong to love a country that has yet to exist?

I suppose you could say that was one of the reasons World War One started: nationality. But how could you love a nation that doesn't exist yet? You need _land_ for a nation to settle on and start.

I came here to Palestine in 1946 to help my people establish a state of Israel, a dream that has been ours since we were exiled from this land 2,000 years ago. During World War II., we helped out the British in a exchange for a state of Israel. Well, I guess those Brits promised the Arabs and the French the same land that they promised us. Not a smart move on their part. (**A/N: No offense to anyone today**)

So I moved here from Chicago to help out. There is a Hebrew Revolution Movement of the Stern Groups: Haganah, Irgun, and Lechi. Every Jew in Eretz Israel was working secretly to form a Jewish State. In Chicago, I wanted so badly to become a part of it. I talked to my parents about moving here. At first, Esme and Carlisle were worried, but after some time, they just wanted me to find a nice, Jewish girl so I would not feel left out with my siblings and their marriages.

And boy did I.

Bell Swan was working in the Hebrew Revolution Movement as well. She moved from Phoenix to here to help establish a country as well. Not only was she incredibly brave, but insanely beautiful as well. Big brown eyes, long brown hair, pale complexion, full red lips…etc. Just thinking about her drove me crazy. She always knew when I was upset or happy. She could always make me feel better and laugh. And she was absolutely oblivious to how she made me feel. Just her fingertips on my arm would send shivers down my spine. And when she would kiss me softly, I would be dizzy for two days straight.

My sweet Bella.

She would always visit me every Tuesday. I would work here in the Prison Bakery six times a week with all my heart, just so I could see her face for the one hour visiting time she was allowed. Bella would first give me a newspaper and I would put it aside to read before bed. Then we would just talk for such a long time that we would barely notice the guard walking in to escort her out. And as she left, I would begin to count the number of days, hours, and minutes until I saw her beautiful face and feel her warm touch again.

While Bella was out in the city working for everyone's goal, I would work here in the Prison where I would stay either until my 10 years were up, or until Israel was established. I guess that's what you get for fighting in the Night of the Bridges.

But it was worth it. I can remember so vividly the heat of June at night. The Haganah, the part of the Stern Groups who fought back, had many diversion operations to confuse the British army when we blew up the bridges connecting to our neighboring countries. We blew up eleven bridges before I was caught. I was then sent to this Prison that was once a nunnery hostel before the British turned it into prison for Jewish underground fighters.

I began to work in the Bakery section of the prison. I can barely boil water let alone cook a meal for the prisoners and guards. But the prisoners who worked in the Bakery received packages of food wrapped in newspaper. All that I wanted here in prison, was to know what is going on outside. So having the newspaper that the food was wrapped in was like a blessing. I would keep the newspaper and read it later in bed. I would learn so much about what was going on outside. The newspaper that Bella brought every Tuesday did not satisfy my curiosity.

I would work every day but Shabbat. On Saturday, a rabbi would come to the Prison and we would study Torah all day. It was the only day off we would get.

But on Tuesdays, my favorite day of the week, my stomach would be full of butterflies and I could not form a sentence without stuttering. I would wait impatiently for the guard to come and tell me I had a visitor. I would drop the pita bread I was trying to cook and run to my prison cell, where I would meet Bella.

And today, my glorious Tuesday, I will see my sweet Bella.

And today, I will ask for her to wait for me.

Today is the day I will ask for her hand in marriage.

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**Should I continue this story or not?? Please review!!  
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	2. Nothing Can Ruin This

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight...yet.**

**Edward's POV**

My hands kept pounding into the dough over and over again absentmindedly. Today was Tuesday. Today is the day. My mind was thinking about how I was going to propose to her. Should I be unimaginably romantic that would disgust even me or should I just cut to the chase? Should I get down on one knee even though I don't have a ring? Oy! I should have written to my mother in Chicago and asked for her ring!

God, this is driving me crazy! And where is she anyway? She should have been here an hour ago!

Irritable grizzly bears- none of those nice butterflies- attacked my stomach in nervousness and worry. She got hurt. I just know it. She is probably dying in the streets because of some mission those radical Zionists forced her into! I should have protected her better! I told her that she needs to be extra careful. No more tripping over nothing, even if she can't help it. What if one of these times she trips and hurts herself so badly that she needed to be taken to a hospital and that hospital gets blown up? A bit farfetched, but it could happen!

My hands pounded furiously into the dough until I could no longer feel my hands. I twisted the dough and broke it apart to make the daily pita bread. I threw it onto the stove without a care and groaned in frustration.

"Eddie, why? What did that poor little unborn pita bread ever do to you?" Emmet questioned me. We were both caught that night we blew up the bridges along with Jasper. All three of us were and still are best friends, even in this prison.

"Emmet, do not call me Eddie for the trillionth time." I answered in a monotone voice.

Jasper jumped into the conversation, worried by the tone of my voice. "Aw, come on Edward! Cheer up! Bella will show up any second now and the guards will take you into your cell where you can propose to her and will live happily ever after. Well, after you leave this place. I can promise you that she will show up very soon. It's all in your head."

I sighed loudly and stared at the loudly ticking clock in the bakery. Emmet laughed loudly and patted me hard on the back. That's going to leave a mark. "It's always the same routine on these lovely Tuesdays. You freak out that your kapara (**A/N: sweetheart**) won't show up and that she got hurt somehow. But then she always shows up and you come back happy as a clam! Then you are in a daze until Thursday, Friday you become your usual, serious self until Sunday, when you get nervous about Tuesday again! Man, don't you just love this routine, Jasper?"

Jasper laughed but I guess he caught me sneaking a glance at the clock again since he tried to distract me. "Hey Edward, do you remember that night we got caught?"

I gave Jasper the dirtiest look I could manage and Emmet's booming laughter deafened my ears. "Jasper, I think all three of us remember that night very vividly." I answered with a slight smile on my face.

Jasper rolled his eyes dramatically and replied, "No guys. I mean before we went to go blow up the bridges. We spend the evening in the bar and do you remember what Emmet said?"

"If the world was ruled by squirrels and cats were the enemy, I would be able to conquer the cats because they all like to be scratched on their chins." I answered quickly.

Jasper laughed loudly and Emmet scowled. "Well they do! Why do you think they always lift up their heads like that?"

I laughed along with them, successfully distracted. "Oh, I always thought they were just trying to get a good angle to attack you, Emmet. Thanks for clearing that up for me!"

Jasper finally said, "That's not was I was talking about though. Emmet said, 'No matter what happens tonight, we are all going to stay together cause I don't want to be alone in this screwed up world.' And you know what guys, we're doing a pretty good damn job at it…"

"Yeah, I'm getting pretty sick of you guys too!" I interrupted. Emmet tried to hold back a laugh, unsuccessfully. I don't know why he laughed at everything I said, but as long as it provided him entertainment…

"Mr. Mason, you have a visitor." A guard said at the bakery door.

My heart leaped a mile out of my chest and into the sky. My Bella is finally here! Jasper and Emmet both had very obvious "I told you so" looks on their faces, but I didn't care. I was going to see my Bella.

I practically ran across the courtyard and into the prison building. The guards were used to my behavior on Tuesdays and didn't stop me or question me, but only laughed and dipped their hats towards me. I hardly noticed anything around me as I ran through the narrow halls and into my prison cell. I skidded to a stop the second I saw her. My Bella.

She looked up from the small, barred prison cell towards me. Numb relief washed over me and I felt a stupid, goofy smile explode on my face. Bella smiled sweetly back, but the corner of her lips turned down into a frown as her eyes looked me up and down.

I was suddenly aware of my appearance. My clothes covered in dirt and flour. My hands caked in dried dough and random streaks of it all over my body. My hair was a mess and my face was probably unhealthily pale. I do my best to get in the sun as much as possible, but between the Bakery, services in the prison synagogue, and solitary, it was not very often.

I tried to rub off some of the flour on my clothes before I pulled my kapara into my arms. Bella giggled and pulled me so close to her; I could feel her heartbeat through her clothes. I breathed in deeply in her hair and smelled the strawberry shampoo she uses. I pulled back and stared into her shining eyes. She stared right back and whispered, "Hi."

I laughed quietly and whispered a hello back. I tilted my head forward and kissed her passionately until I could feel her shaking. So I moved my lips down to her neck while she caught her breath, but the shaking continued. She giggled again and pulled away from me suddenly.

"Edward Mason, have you shaven your face since I was last here?" Bella demanded in a furious, yet cute voice.

My face grew red. Crap. I forgot about shaving! Bella always hates it when I kiss her with stubble on my chin. Here I am about to propose in dirty clothes, covered in flour, and unshaven.

I stared Bella right in her chocolate brown eyes and whispered, "I am truly and sincerely sorry, Bella. It completely slipped my mind. Will you please forgive me?" I softened my voice and bore my green eyes into hers. Her eyes seemed to glaze over and her body relaxed suddenly. I would like to call this dazzling her. She nodded in a confused way, as if she had forgotten what she was nodding to.

I laughed silently and brought a wooden chair over for her to sit in. I couldn't offer much here, but what I did have, I made sure Bella got the best and only the best. I sat down on the stone ground and she sat down silently, with a frown still on her face. How I wish I could know what she was thinking! She always told me that her face was so easy to read, but I think she is the hardest person to read. I asked with worry, "What's wrong, Bella? I hate to see you upset."

Bella smiled slightly and avoided her gaze from my eyes. "Nothing is wrong, Edward. I still hate seeing you in a place like this. I just can't wait until you get out of here…and be with me."

My heart leaped and I stood up off the ground suddenly. She wants me to get out of here and be with her! She wants to be with me! This is the perfect time to ask!

"Bella, my sweet Bella, I can't wait to get out of here as well. It is only a matter of time until Israel is established and I can leave! And the moment I step out of this prison, I want to do something, something with you."

Bella smiled shyly, unaware of what will occur. My heart's beating so fast, I am sure that it will give me away! I took a lungful of air and carefully took Bella's soft, delicate hand. I rubbed my thumb over her's and watched her breath speed up as well. I stared straight into her wide brown eyes and I went down to one knee.

"Bella, I want to marry you. I want to spend my every day with you at my side as my wife. I love you so unbelievably much and I want to show it to you for the rest of our lives, forever."

Bella's eyes grew wider in shock and a smile exploded on her face. She stopped breathing all together and whispered, "Yes, Edward. I will marry you."

I jumped up and grabbed Bella to her feet. I swung her up in my arms and twirled her around. She said yes! My heart was beating in my throat and tears were streaming down my cheeks. My sweet Bella giggled endlessly as I spun her around endlessly. I kept kissing her everywhere: her cheeks, her neck, her lips, her forehead. I heard people clapping outside my cell, but I didn't care. I am going to spend the rest of my life with this wonderful woman here in my arms.

I put Bella back on her feet and gazed to her face. Tears were also pouring down her cheeks despite the huge smile on her face. I cupped her head in my hands and kissed her on the lips passionately, never wanting to let go.

Nothing can ever ruin this moment for me.

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**Please review! I am willing to beg endlessly!!**


	3. Quadruple Pinkie Promise

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, yet. Mwahaha!!**

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I held onto my beautiful, blushing Bella for as long as I could. I kept tracing the curves of her neck with my lips and felt her body tremble every time I did it. I refuse to let her go. My fiancé never left my arms after I proposed to her, and I intend to keep it that way until our hour together is over. Time is against me; it always seems to fly by when my love is here with me. When we first started dating, people seemed to be amused that Bella was older than me, me being nineteen and Bella is twenty one. But it does not matter to me, and neither to her. I just view the age difference as a gap of time I didn't know this wonderful woman.

"I want to be a singer," Bella proclaimed loudly.

I laughed loudly and said, "You would be a great singer, love. You have an amazing voice."

Bella blushed at the compliment, but continued anyway, "I can play the piano, though not as fantastic and skilled as you can. So I can play and sing! It feels so good to express myself in my music! Will you come and listen to me play?"

"Of course, Bella! I would never miss it for the world! Where would you play?"

"Well I obviously am not good enough or known to start at concerts, so I would perform at bars and wait to be discovered!"

I frowned at the images in my mind. My innocent Bella performing at bars with lonely men watching her, looking at her, was so not good for her. Seeing my frown, Bella kissed my lips quickly and watched my expression turn from worried to a daze. I stared at her lips longingly, wanting nothing more than to taste her lips again. I attacked her lips without giving her any warning.

Taken by surprise, she pulled back by instinct, only to push forward with more force as she realized what I was doing. She kissed me back hard, leaving me breathless already. Impatient, I slowly licked the bottom of her lips, requesting permission. She giggled slightly and allowed my request. I slip my tongue into her mouth and met her's soon after. We started to wrestle, no one winning.

The guard at the door of my cell coughed loudly, obviously embarrassed by us. We both flinched and pulled away reluctantly. I realized then how awkward it must be for everyone around us: I sitting on the only chair in the room with Bella seated on my lap with her arms wrapped around my neck. "Miss Swan, your time is up, I'm afraid."

"Don't leave," I murmured, my face buried in her sweet hair.

Bella giggled slightly, my breath tickling her, "You never leave me, love. You're always in my thoughts."

"And you in mine," I admitted. I clutched tighter her small frame and she sighed deeply. God, what would I do to just have her all to myself.

Fear grabbed my heart and stomped on it multiple times as I realized what the guard just said. She just got here! How could she leave? I squeezed her tight, feeling her hold onto me more. "No," Bella whispered. "I can't leave you! I won't!"

My throat closed up and I spoke my words carefully, knowing that if I spoke too fast or too much, I would grab Bella and we would run far away from this wretched prison. "Bella, love, you must. Just think that every moment we are apart, there will be eight times as many together. My beautiful, blushing fiancé, I love you with all my heart. That's all I can give you now."

Bella blushed and nodded, tears threatening to escape her brown eyes. She smiled and held up a newspaper that she placed on the ground, "Well, this is all they would allow me to give you: a newspaper."

I laughed and took the newspaper greedily, "And I shall cherish it with all my heart."

She laughed like tiny bells and kissed me softly. I stared hard and long at her, my eyes gazing into her's. I brushed my fingertips across her cheek and whispered, "I love you, please don't ever doubt that."

She shivered at my touch and whispered, "Never will I doubt you." She slowly lifted herself off of me, and my body already missed the warmth of her body on top of mine. My hand grabbed her hand quickly, before I could stop myself. The guard at the door tapped his foot, yet rolled his eyes teasingly.

"Bella?" I asked in a whisper.

"Yes?" She whispered back.

"Be safe."

She blushed and her eyes furrowed together. "I can take care of myself, Edward."

I brought her hand to my lips and my breath brushed against her soft skin, "I know, love. But I worry about you, when you're not here."

She laughed yet again and my heart fluttered to my ribs. "Edward, you know what your problem is? You. Worry. Too. Much."

I felt the warm rush of blood flow to my cheeks and I whispered, "All the time I worry about you."

Bella gave me a pitiful look and kissed my forehead with passion. She stuck out her pinkie and giggled, "I pinkie promise I won't get myself hurt."

"Not a scratch?"

She laughed again and added, "Not a scratch shall inflict upon my body."

I wrapped my pinkie around her delicate pinkie. I stuck out my other pinkie and hoped, "Double pinkie promise?"

She smiled sweetly and nodded, "Quadruple pinkie promise."

My eyebrows lifted teasingly as I asked, "Bella, do you have four pinkies? Is there something I should know?"

Bella gently pushed my shoulder and I stood up from the chair. I wrapped my arms around her small frame and whispered in her ear, "I love you."

I felt her face smile as she whispered back in a shaky voice, "I love you too, Edward. So much."

I walked her slowly to the guard who smiled sadly at me. He looked to my Bella and asked, "Same time, next week, dear?"

She kissed my lips quickly, though it still left my lips burning, and she answered, "As usual!" She took the guard's arm and left me entirely. Her skin was not even brushing against mine anymore.

As they walked out of the prison cell, I saw her look back at me longingly. I smiled and waved at my angel. Her expression changed and her features grew bright again as she waved back at me.

Little did I know that would be the last time I would ever see her.

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**Thank you guys for the amazing reviews! It totally boosts my confidence when I get NO REVIEWS!! So why am I putting up this chapter? Cause I love this story and I hoped that others would love it too. So, if you did enjoy this story, TELL ME! I might even put up the next chapter sooner!! It's that purple button to your left. Pleease??  
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	4. Finally

**Thanks for reviewing snowpatrolvampire and browneyes13!!!! It meant a lot to me that you reviewed!!!!! Now if only we can get more reviews, then I would go to bed at night happily!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight nor the song "Leave Me in the Dark" by Keri Noble.  
**

Friday, Shabbat! The second best day at the prison. I'm usually not a religious guy, but we get the day off in the kitchen, we get to clean ourselves up, and, most importantly, Shabbat services, which means a piano. Since none of the other guys can play piano, I have the honor of playing the piano for the rabbi that visits. In return for playing the piano during the service, I get to play for one full hour, playing or creating whatever music I want.

I anxiously got dressed in my best prison clothes, which is probably an oxymoron, but nonetheless, I tried my best to look good. Emmet, on the other hand, took this opportunity of a free day to sleep the _entire_ day. As a result, he rushes to put on pants. Whether they are decent or not out of the question for him.

"Eddie! Where did I put my pants? Crap, we gotta go in two minutes and I don't have any freaking pants!" Emmet yelled for the entire city to hear.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Emmet? You're pants are on your bed."

He turned around to face his bed and his entire expression lit up. "Hey! My pants!" He grabbed them and hugged them as if they were the most precious thing in the world, despite the flour stains that covered them.

I rolled my eyes and walked out the door. I wanted to get there a little early to talk to the rabbi. I waved to Jasper to let him know I was leaving and I walked down the dark halls of the prison and into the light, airy room of the sanctuary where the rabbi stood in the middle of the small room getting ready to lead the service. "Rabbi Moshe?" I asked, not wanting to be rude and interrupt him.

He turned around and his eye lit up. "Ah! Edward! Shabbat Shalom! How is my favorite little shir (song)?"

I smiled at my nickname and replied, "Better than ever!"

He raised his eyebrows then tapped his nose. "You finally proposed to that beautiful Bella didn't you?"

I blushed slightly, a habit I picked up from Bella. I thought back to Tuesday, which seemed to be way too far away. I quickly recapped the entire events of Tuesday, leaving out some things I would rather not share with my rabbi. Other prisoners quickly filled in the seats as I talked with the rabbi. He listened attentively, smiling and laughing at the right times. At the end of the short summary, he motioned me come closer to him. I came close so his mouth was next to my ear. He whispered, "I told you so."

I rolled my eyes and went quietly to my bench in front of the piano while the rabbi began the service. I played the music in front of me and, before I knew it, the service was over. The men started to get up to leave and I waved the rabbi over to me. "Rabbi Moshe, I was wondering if before you leave, you could listen to a song I wrote for Bella. I would love to know your input."

He smiled, grateful that I would even consider his opinion.

I sighed deeply and let my fingers dance across the piano.

The song started out slow with high, beautiful notes blending to make a quiet, yet noticeable chord. I recently added words to her song, remembering how she loved to sing. I always wished she would someday sing this song and so I put all of her notes on the music. So I sang an octave lower.

_Feel the sunlight coming through_

_But I'm not ready to wake up, lose this feeling_

_Another night of dreams_

_A place where we can meet_

_Finally, I can be myself with you_

_Tell you all the things I want to_

_Sunlight have a heart,_

_Leave me in the dark a little longer._

I sang about how I felt waking up every morning from a dream of my Bella. How I longed just to stay in the darkness of the night, dreaming about my angel. I put in the last two chords as tense and, to an untrained ear, just unsettling sounding. I started into the next chord and so the listener would still feel as if something was missing by the weird chords.

_Last night we took a walk_

_Down by the ocean_

_Darkness_

_Hiding us away_

_Well the sky began to change_

_And I was helpless_

_You were _

_Fading _

_Nothing I could do but sigh_

_Meet you in my dreams the next time_

_Sunlight have a heart_

_Leave me in the dark a little longer_

I ended the chorus again with the tense chord and I slowly began to end the song with the notes growing further and further apart.

_Maybe when the winter comes_

_Days and nights will blend into one_

_Cold December snow_

_Leave me alone_

_A little longer._

I ended the words with the same chord again and went off onto a small piano solo and ended the song carefully so the listener was left with the same empty feeling I have when I am without my Bella. I pressed the last note and let it hang there in the air for a bit. I put my hands on my lap and looked to Rabbi Moshe.

Tears were streaming down his face. He stared at the piano as if it was a miracle sitting right in front of him. He took out his handkerchief and wiped his eyes and blew his nose loudly. He stared his clear, intelligent eyes into mine and he said, "Edward, you have such wonderful gifts in this world."

I laughed at that. Yeah, pretty wonderful. I opened my arms to emphasize our surroundings. "Hate to break it to you, Rabbi, but I'm in prison. That's not really on one of the top places to be right now…"

Rabbi Moshe gave me a stern look to show that he is being serious. My smile vanished and I began to listen to his every words. "You have such an outstanding talent for the piano. I cannot help but wonder what reason God gave you this miraculous gift for. And your voice! Heavenly voice! And the way you can express your longing and love for Bella through music is incomprehensible. Your love for Bella colors the piece so beautifully! Your gifts should not be kept in this prison cell any longer. I am going to speak to the Head Guard here and ask him if you could be let out of this prison if, and only if, you play and sing at my synagogue."

My heart leaped out of my chest and started dancing around hovering in the air doing summersaults and jumping jacks. My head grew dizzy and my vision blurry. Tears formed in my eyes as I tried to think of something to say to express my gratitude to Rabbi Moshe. Instead of words, I flung my arms around him and wept into his chest. He laughed for a second and began to cry with me. My joy his joy.

My new possibility at life flashed uncontrollably before my eyes. Spending my life with Bella! And so soon! I could buy us an apartment by the synagogue so I could play my music there daily. She would come listen to me play every day and she could go out at nights and fulfill her dreams of becoming a singer. Once we were both settled, we would get married! Tears streamed down my face out of happiness.

Finally, things were going exactly as I would want it!

That is, until Tuesday came.

**Please please pleeeeease review! And if anyone could tell me how I can accept Anonymous reviews, that would be heavenly!**

**Happy Halloween!  
**


	5. Never Will Be Again

**Thanks for the total of two reviews snowpatrolvampire and tropicschic1731!!!!!!!!! **

**Sorry this is such a sad chapter. It will get happier, I promise!  
**

Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. It felt like my heart was beating to that word! I get to tell Bella that I was finally leaving this horrid prison. I imagined her reaction over and over in my head. She will first stare at me in disbelief. I would then insure her that I will indeed be leaving this place in two weeks. Her eyes will grow wide and a huge smile would explode on her face. She would attack me and jump on me in a great hug. She will laugh, her voice breaking as would begin to cry. I would cry with her and I would hold her in my arms for the rest of the time she was there.

The only problem is, she just needs to get here.

I stood in the kitchen with Emmet and Jasper just like last week, glancing impatiently at the clock. I tried to loosen up and not be bother by the fact she was THREE HOURS LATER than usual. I shouldn't worry. I won't worry. Not one bit. I furrowed my eyebrows in concentration as I attempted to make the best pita bread the world has ever seen.

This was really difficult, actually. The dough was incredibly sticky and stuck to anything it could. I pulled off all the dough I could from my fingers when a huge glob of dough hit my straight on my head and a booming voice laughed endlessly.

"EMMET!" I yelled. He then proceeded to fall on the floor in laughter.

"Ha ha ha! You were…ha ha…so concentrated…on getting all of the dough off! And now..ha ha…it's all over your head! Ha!" His laughter was cut off by a glob of dough being thrown into his face and Jasper looking much too guilty.

I laughed and crushed the dough I was working on and threw that at Emmet as well. It landed precisely on his mouth, making him unable to yell or even talk! All we heard was a muffled yell and he peeled it off his face and glanced mischievously at us.

I grabbed a pan for protection, knowing full well what is going to happen next. Jasper hid behind a package of dough wrapped in newspaper we received on Sunday.

Emmet yelled a war cry and grabbed all the dough he possibly could into his arms and threw it aimlessly all over the kitchen. "Gahh! Beware of the wrath of Sir Emmet!" He flung more dough at us desperately.

Guards came rushing in to try to handle Emmet's outburst. They stood at the door astonished at the scene. Emmet, a huge, scary looking guy, flinging harmless, sticky dough at his two best friends who were cringing behind boxes and pans in corners. Pretty soon, the guards were on the ground laughing as well as Jasper and I. Emmet stood in the middle of the room, furious that we weren't taking him seriously.

Ten minutes and a lecture later, we were back in the kitchen, scrubbing the kitchen free of dough. Guilty smiles covered our faces as well as attempts to cover our spontaneous giggles. I grabbed the package Jasper was hiding behind before and peeled off the dough. My eye caught the headline and my breathing stopped completely.

_YOUNG WOMAN DEAD FROM PALESTINIAN UPBURSTS_

I shook my head, knowing full well that Bella promised she wouldn't hurt herself. She's just running late today. But I glanced at the clock and realized that Bella was close to four hours late. She was _never_ this late before. Panic settled back into my stomach and I uneasily read the newspaper article attached to the package.

_A young woman of the age of 21 died today from a Palestinian uproar in Jerusalem Friday evening. The Palestinian rebels grabbed the woman from the street, mistaking her for a Hebrew rebel, and she was beaten on the spot. The rebels were immediately arrested and brought to the Jerusalem Prison for further questioning. The woman was brought to the hospital soon after and was under Special Care until she died. It turned out that she was actually was an American from Arizona living in Palestine for the time being. The young woman's name was Isabella Marie Swan and she luckily had her passport on her. Her parents have been contacted; however, they will get her body back after it has been cremated since the wounds that were inflicted on her body were beyond repair for a proper burial. The rebels, on the other hand have been…_

My body was too much in shock to register what I just read. It said that my Bella, was, dead?

Of course she wasn't dead. Why is this paper lying to me? Why did they even print this? Bella will show up here and I would show her the paper and we would laugh together before I would tell her the news and we would be happy! Right?

She's not gone. She really can't be. She promised.

She promised. I thought over and over again in my head. The paper I held in my hands was now on the floor. When did I drop it? Why is it so cold? It's the freaking Middle East! It's never cold here!

I was barely aware of someone calling my name. Was that my name? "Edward!" There it was again. That name being called. Someone should answer to it. It's just plain rude to ignore it.

A pair of warm hands grabbed me up. Since when was I lying on the ground? A face was in front of me, but I didn't recognize it. It was just a face. People started to swarm around me. What's going on? I heard that same name repeated over and over again, but it was a far distance away. I felt my arms being pulled away from where I was and I fell to the floor. Why aren't my feet working? I was pulled to my feet again and was hoisted off the ground and carried into the sunlight. I flinched from the brightness and tried to shield my eyes from the harmful sun, but my hands were kept tight to my body. I felt the comfort of the shade again and lied down on the only bed that had a mattress in my prison cell.

My heart was beating unnaturally fast. I shouldn't be lying down! Bella will be here soon!

Yet I drifted into sleep.

**Two days later- Thursday**

Voices. So many voices surrounded me.

"He's not going to make it. His body's in such a shock that his body shut down for a few moments and threw off his system."

"Poor Eddie. I wish there was a way I could help."

"There has to be something we can do for him!"

"Baruch atah Adonai…"

I wanted to open my eyes and resurface, but the fog was too thick. My body wasn't under my command. I wanted to open my eyes, but I couldn't. I physically couldn't.

So I drifted back further into the water. I didn't want to try so hard to go back to the nightmare that is my reality. I fell back into sleep.

**Friday**

It felt like seconds later, a cold hand ran its fingers through my hair. I shivered at its touch. It brought its cold lips to my forehead and kissed it. I opened my eyes and saw an angel without wings. Where were its wings? Such a beautiful angel like this deserves to have wings!

The angel grew frightened that I saw her, but she quickly hid it and smiled sweetly at me. I licked my lips and tried to clear my throat, wanting to speak to her. She shook her head and pressed her small finger over my lips. I kissed it. She smiled again, exposing her teeth this time.

A true smile. So beautiful.

She kissed my lips softly and it shocked my lips. My lips tingled even after she pulled away. She caressed my cheek with sorrow and vanished.

**One Week Later**

I have been awake for three days. But I feel like I have not been alive for weeks. I only feel this pain, nagging at my heart, shooting raw stings throughout my body. I cannot move. If I move, I become dizzy and my head pounds. I am lifeless.

Jasper is sitting on my bed, holding my hands and rubbing it. This was unusual behavior for him, but he understands that I need help.

It's so hard to speak. My throat is so dry and sore and whenever I open my mouth, sobs come out instead of words. But I need to ask. I need to. "Bella. Is she…is it true?"

I didn't need words to answer my question. The pained look on his face was confirmation enough.

My world fell to pieces. I could barely hold on to reality. It kept slipping through my fingers. I sobbed dryly, my body unable to produce tears anymore.

I heard him get up and leave, understanding I need to be alone.

Sobs wracked through my body, causing me such pain I have never known before. So much pain was kept in my body, in my heart. I have to let it out. I can't keep it in anymore!

I groped around, looking for something. Anything!

Glass met my searching fingers. Exactly what I need.

I squeezed the sharp glass, gasping with relief as true physical pain escaped from my body.

_She's gone. She's not coming back, Edward._

I frowned at the thought. Pure pain flashed through my entire body as realization finally kicked in.

_She's DEAD! You will NEVER see her again! Marriage? Never. Love? Never. Your Bella is forever gone from you. _

I screamed out loud at my thoughts. I don't want to think anymore! I never want to think again! I desperately stabbed my wrists with the glass over and over again. I rolled onto the floor, drenched in my own blood. My Bella. My sweet, innocent Bella. Gone.

I barely felt any sting from the glass. I couldn't feel anything. My body shivered from the imaginary cold. I saw my sweet Bella standing before me in open arms, smiling at me. I wanted to embrace her, but I knew that she's not here. She never will be again.

Blood flowed fast and faster.

I feel so tired.

So weak.

I smiled. Everything was numb and pretend.

This was the end.

Maybe I could be with my angel now.

**THIS. IS. NOT. THE. END.**

**Please don't anyone kill me! I swear everything WILL get better! Many more chapters to go!**

**Maybe if I got more reviews, you would get the chapters faster...HINT HINT! HIT THE PURPLE BUTTON ON THE LEFT!!!!!  
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	6. Hallucinations

**Hey Guys! I didn't like where the story was heading, so I rewrote this chapter and perfected it! Thanks to xoxsars1731, cherryblossoms123456, and browneyes13 for reviewing for the older chapter!  
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**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

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**Three Years Later**

Time passes, even when it seems impossible. Living through each day with no hope, no reason is simply impractical. Three years with only the memory of happiness and love stabs into my heart. Whoever said "It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" is plain stupid. I have loved. I have lost. Yet everyday seems to be getting worse and worse.

I see her everywhere. On the streets. In a crowd. Even when I was in that damn mental institute, she was there with me. Only glances of her though. I know it was never her really. It was just "my mind wanting to see her so bad, I actually do see her," as the doctors told me. They nearly put me into solitary confinements when I told them about the angel I saw. "Hallucinations," they said.

But I know better. It was her. She wanted to say goodbye to me before she had to fly up to Heaven where she could watch me from above. She kept coming back every once in a while to make sure that I was doing okay. I would feel her presence. But I would turn and she wouldn't be there. It's okay though. I knew she was there.

I actually knew it was her only once after the time in the prison. I was asleep and I felt soft, cold finger gently running through my hair like she used to do. Half asleep, I pushed my head into her hands more like a puppy does when it wants to be scratched on its head. I heard an angel sobbing and sleepily groped around to find her frigid hand. When I couldn't find it, I opened my eyes to find my room completely empty. I guess she had to return to Heaven.

Jasper and Emmet are up there with her. After my "suicide attempt," I was brought back to America where I could get "help." They had to stay in the prison. Not even a year after I left, the War of Independence broke out. When Israel declared itself a state, all the surrounding countries attacked.

Jasper and Emmet fought. They died. Their bodies buried in the sand of the Negev Desert, only a memorial as their gravestones.

But they wouldn't tell me they died, the doctors. I was released and went home to Chicago to discover my best friends died nearly a year ago. My mother almost sent me back to the mental institution by the way I reacted. But I convinced her otherwise.

Just like I convinced the doctors that I was better.

Of course I had to lie and say I was better. I was never going to be released if I kept talking about seeing that angel and feeling her presence everywhere. So I just stopped talking about it. I pretended that I was better so I could get out of there. And it worked.

I've been home for half of a year. My mother kept pressuring me to go back to high school to finish my last year there. But I can't face anyone in Chicago. Too familiar. So I am going to an entirely different place. Somewhere no one knows about: Forks, WA. I can finally be in a place without getting those pity looks everywhere I look.

A fresh, new start.

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Forks, Washington, the greenest, wettest place in the Continental U.S. Such a change from the desert Israel and the windy Chicago. The newer the better, at least.

So I thought. This place is the smallest town I have ever seen in my life! If my past gets out somehow, it is going to be all over town in a matter of minutes!

"Hey," a girl behind me says in what is supposed to be a sexy voice. "I'm Jessica. Are you new here?"

I guess sitting down on the picnic bench in front of the school was not a good way to start the new school year. With a barely legal slut standing in front of me, I spat harshly, "Yeah, I'm new and out of your league." Hmm, maybe the doctors were right. Anger management. I sat up and walked away from this Jessica, and silently hoped never to cross her again.

The rest of the day continued like this. Girls, and some guys, hitting on me and I rudely turned every single one down. My heart belongs to an angel anyway. Classes came and passed. I could have slept through some of them, but I know what happens when I sleep. A shudder passes through me even when I think about it.

Lunch. Finally. I practically run out of my Spanish class to get away from the brainless, flirtatious teacher. And I thought the students were bad. I walked into the lunch room and realized, where the hell and I going to sit? Who would want to sit with a 22 year-old in high school? I signed up to get my high school credits, not to deal with the awkwardness of it.

I grabbed an apple and some pizza and sat at an empty table in the back, concentrating on the food in front of me and not the stares and whispers surrounding me. Soon enough, two girls, by the looks of their shoes, stood in front of my vacant table. I looked up and saw two sickly, yet beautifully, pale girls holding trays in front of me. One of them was short with even shorter, spiky hair that made her seem pixie-like. The other one I would have said was the most beautiful girl in the world if I had not met my gorgeous angel. She had long, blonde hair and opened her red lips, "We're going to let it slide this one time, but if you sit at our table again, I'm afraid that pretty little face of yours if going to be pummeled to pieces."

Wait, what? Did this girl just threaten me? Both me and the pixie had our mouths open wide until the girl spoke up, "Rosalie, that's no way to treat the new kid." Her voice sounded like bells ringing sweetly. Ah, now this is a singer. "Besides, he's much older than us and could use some friends." Wait, how did she know I was older than her?

She sat down next to me and stuck her small hand in my face. "My name's Alice. I am a senior here and it is a pleasure meeting you!"

I almost felt a smile tug at my face from her enthusiasm. "Edward." I murmured. I shook her hand and flinched at the cold. I've only felt hands this cold once, and it was my angel's hands.

"Sorry," she giggled. "It is absolutely freezing in here! Just wait until the winter. Brrr…Oh! This is my sister Rosalie." I glanced up at the blonde still standing in front of me. She was shooting death glares at me and I knew she was thinking of ways to kill me. "We're not technically sisters, but close enough. We're adopted. We have two brothers and a sister too! I can't wait until you…"

She stopped short before she could say another word and stared out into space. Rosalie slammed her tray down on the table, bringing Alice back into the present. Alice glanced up to Rosalie and back to me fearfully. "Um, well, it was very nice meeting you, Edward." She said quickly and picked up her tray as quick as she could and left.

Before I could even process what just happened, another tray hit the table and someone sat down across from me. "Hey, man. I'm Mike. How did you get Rosalie Hale and Alice Cullen to talk to you? I've been trying since last year and nothing. How'd you do it?"

Great, another talker. I sighed and just told him that I just sat here and did nothing. He blabbered on some more and I continued to eat my lunch. Forks is such a weird place.

The bell rang, finally, and everyone started heading back to their classes. I walked with Mike as he kept talking when I saw Rosalie again. She looked around to see if anyone was watching her and slowly turned the corner into an abandoned hallway.

I ditched Mike and followed her silently. I peeked my head around the corner and saw her talking to a huge guy. Seriously, huge. He was about the size Emmet used to be. His back was turned from me and I heard Rosalie whisper harshly, "He's _here_."

The man whispered something back unintelligible and Rosalie said in response, "_No_, baby. We're going to have to leave. We can't tell him! We'll tell her and she'll insist we have to leave. It's better for him to not know. I'm sorry."

She pulled the man into a deep kiss and a hug after. Her eyes snapped open and saw me watching them. Frightened, I scrambled to get away from the scene and dashed madly to my next class, Music.

Glancing over my shoulder to make sure she wasn't following me, I started walking normally now and tried desperately to find my class, which I was five minutes late for. Great.

I found the classroom and heard a tune playing from inside the room. I respectfully waited outside the room for the song to finish. It is rude to interrupt when someone is playing.

Except the familiar music notes sounded all too familiar. And the chords. My usual silent heart beat began to pump with adrenaline.

I recognize this song. Actually, I recognize _my_ song.

The song that I never played again after that night with the rabbi. Memories washed over me and unwanted tears clouded my vision.

_Flashback_

_I was sleeping again. That much I knew. I opened my eyes and saw Jasper with a pained look in his eyes. He was touching my stuff. Putting them in boxes. "Jasper?" I croaked. It is still so hard to talk._

_He looked up at me and I saw tears in his eyes. "Edward. You are leaving. You are going back to America. It is too dangerous to keep you here. You need help."_

_The words did not register. He said I was leaving, but I didn't understand the word. Leaving? Leaving what?_

_Emmet walked into the room carrying a box full of papers. I saw they had my handwriting and my music notes on them._

"_Emmet?" I croaked again. I began to question if I will ever be able to sing again. My throat just sounds so horrible. _

"_Hey Eddie!" He said with fake enthusiasm. "Sorry man. I know you hate it when people touch your music. But I didn't think you'd want to leave without it!" He smiled carefully, hoping that I wasn't upset for him touching my stuff._

_But there was that word again. Leave. What did it mean?_

_I lifted up my bandaged arm, wanting to look at my music. Emmet's smiled faded somewhat when he saw my arm, but he quickly hided it and brought me my box of music. I scrambled through them, only caring about finding one song._

_Where is it? Where is it? I kept repeating in my mind._

"_Where's what?" asked Jasper. Damn. That was supposed to be in my head. _

"_My song. For…her. It was still on the piano." I grasped my throat. It hurt just to say those ten words._

_Emmet looked confused. "Eddie, there was no music on the piano. All the music were in the folder, on the ground. _

_Anger consumed my body. I could feel myself shaking. "NO!" I yelled out. My throat was burning from the loud word. My hands frantically began ripping through the papers. "It is here. It is here." I kept telling myself. _

_Emmet grabbed the box of music out of my hands and I screamed. Jasper pinned down my hands to the bed that I didn't know were flying out of control. The prison doctor flew into the room with a syringe. He tried pinning me down too, but I was out of control. I was yelling. I was completely out of control. Edward was lost and a beast took his place. I was no longer Edward._

I stopped my scarring memory. I stopped thinking about it completely. Even thinking about that memory pained me. That was the last time I saw my best friends. Tears burned my eyes again.

A sweet angelic voice interrupted me. It wasn't just angelic. It was _my _angelic voice.

_Feel the sunlight coming through_

_But I'm not ready to wake up, lose this feeling_

My heart beat stopped completely. I held my breath. No, it can't be her. She can't actually be here. "Hallucination," the doctors said. She's. not. real.

Yet this voice was beautiful. Crystal clear and full of love. Her voice was naturally alluring. She filled me with warmth with only her voice, feeling completely familiar to me.

_Another night of dreams_

_A place where we can meet_

_Finally, I can be myself with you_

_Tell you all the things I want to_

_Sunlight have a heart,_

_Leave me in the dark a little longer_

I couldn't stand here in the hall waiting any longer. I knew it was my angel singing in there. I need to see her. My sweaty hand clutched the door knob and turned ever so slowly. The door didn't even creak when I opened it. I slipped in the room, keeping my eyes down. I allowed myself to look at the piano. I couldn't look at my angel sitting at the piano yet. Not yet.

Her hands played the notes perfectly. The tense chords I wrote specifically stabbed at me, twisting my insides and ripping them apart. I then felt the weird chord that followed the tense one. I felt as if something was missing. It was exactly how I imagined my angel to play it. But this wasn't her. It can't be.

_Last night we took a walk_

_Down by the ocean_

_Darkness_

_Hiding us away_

The angel played the piano again and I took the opportunity to look at her. I started from bottom up. She was wearing a light blue summer dress. It ended right above her knees, exposing her pale white legs. I felt a little easier. My angel never had skin that pale. I allowed my eyes to travel up. Her white hands were dancing over the piano, softly touching the keys, as if she were afraid they would break. My heart began slowly beating again. My angel was never this graceful enough to play piano like this. She would always push the keys with more roughness than I expected. I would always scold her for being rude to my piano.

_Well the sky began to change_

_And I was helpless_

_You were_

_Fading_

The woman's sleeves ended at her elbow and fit her figure perfectly, as if she was made for this dress. I let my eyes drift very slowly towards her neck. Her dress had a scoop neck, exposing some cleavage that was inevitable. No necklace hung around her neck. Her natural beauty did not need any shiny objects to attract attention. Again, her paleness shocked me.

_Nothing I could do but sigh_

_Meet you in my dreams the next time_

_Sunlight have a heart,_

_Leave me in the dark a little longer_

I bravely let myself look at her hair, skipping over her face completely. Her mahogany hair matched my angel's completely: full of life and highlighted naturally. She wore no jewelry in her ears. I gulped, and braced myself to look at her face. But I knew what to expect.

I drew in a sharp breath when I saw her face. Flawless. Perfect. Innocent. Her face itself left me breathless with air I didn't have to begin with. Big, golden eyes, completely different from my angel's eyes. But they were wide, filled with curiosity and love, just as her's was. Her lips were full and red and perfect. Her cheeks were as pale as the rest of her body. I half expected a blush or a natural redness to it, but I knew better. Angels don't blush. Her eyes met my gaze.

She started me down, unafraid. She seemed in a daze, as if she expected me there. She began singing to me. Only me.

_Maybe when the winter comes_

_Days and nights will blend into one_

_Cold December snow_

_Leave me alone_

_A little longer._

I stood in the same position I was when I walked in, yet I felt as if I was in a completely different place with her eyes upon me. She smiled sweetly, just like she always smiled to me. She closed her beautiful eyes and lost herself in the music. I could hear her humming along with the piano. She played the last chord and let her flawless fingers drift there, happily humming along with it.

So free. So innocent. So unaware of everything around her. Just like my angel.

The notes drifted into the air and finally were lost. But everyone remained silent, anxiousness strangled the air waiting for something to happen. And it did.

I ran. I ran as fast as I could to my angel. I half expected her to disappear. Her hands reluctantly lifted from the piano keys and she smiled sweetly, eyes still closed.

I was unaware of the entire class watching me. I was only aware of the angel I believed was dead before me. How could I believe she was gone? I slowly took her hand. I was shocked how cold it was. Freezing in fact, just as Alice's were. My angel opened her eyes in shock and saw me standing before her. Her gaze softened. I pulled her up off the piano bench. I held her cold face in my other hand and brought her face to mine.

And I kissed my angel.

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**Aw, cute, right guys? Tell me if you like/love/hate/think I should go and burn my hands so I could never write another chapter again.... Just push that button under this! Not the purple one anymore. They completely threw me off by changing the review button! **

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	7. Time May Heal All Wounds

**Two chapters in one day??? Amazzin, aren't I?**

**I felt bad for completely changing the last chapter, so here's another chapter so everyone can review it! Thank you to those who added this story to their story alerts! It makes me so happy!**

**Here's BELLA'S POINT OF VIEW!!!!!!! GASP!!!!!!!!!!!!**

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**BPOV**

It's amazing how slowly time passes when you have eternity. It's pure irony. When your time on Earth is limited, you only wish for more time. Yet, when you do have forever, you realize how much time we truly do have on Earth.

It passes by even slower when you don't have anyone to share it with.

I replay my last moments with Edward every day, wishing I just lingered our kiss a mere second longer or held him more closely. If there's one thing I have learned from my experience, you can't change the past, no matter how hard you tried. There's only the future you can look to.

But there were so many turning points that could have prevented me from being where I am today. If I kept my promise to be safe, if I had not decided to go for a walk that night, if I had not walked on that one street…but there is nothing I can do about that now. I can only dwell on my happy times with my love and dream about the "what if's."

And when I dwelled on Edward, I could not help my mind slip past the wall I put up around that night it happened: my change.

_I'm walking blissfully in the streets of Jerusalem, thinking about Edward. He's happy right now, I can feel it. It was so rare when he's happy, but I could feel it every time he was. I love it when I can make him happy. He deserves ever ounce of happiness in the world. So I'm walking to the market to get Edward some fruit. I always complain about how he doesn't get enough vitamins in his diet. I don't want him to get sick._

_It's Friday evening, so everyone is at home, celebrating Shabbat. I am walking practically alone, until I see them._

_I try to keep my head down and try not to look suspicious, a trick I learned to keep out of trouble. As they approach closer, I see they are two men and a woman, with wild red hair. I walk closer and closer to them, trying to act invisible. The wind picks up and my hair dances in the wind. The man in middle freezes in his track. He inhales deeply and stares me down. Frozen in fear, I watch the man in the middle crouch down like a panther about to pounce on its prey. Its prey: me. _

_In a flash he is on top of me. My body crashes to the ground from the impact, with my head cracking on the pavement. My blood pours out onto the street, drenching my hair in my own blood. The man inhales deeply again. I see his eyes are red. Blood red. He caresses my cheek with his dirty, blood stained fingernails when I find the courage to scream. The two others with him hiss something at him about people finding us. The man beats me to make me stop screaming._

_I am too lost in pain to do anything when I feel a stinging pain in my wrist. It stands out above the rest of the pain. I feel fire. The man that was above me vanished and is replaced by a frightened man. He was opening his phone and yelling into it. I couldn't hear a word. The entire world was silent except for my heart beating violently in my aching chest. My wrist feels as if it is on fire and I beg for it to be put out._

_I black out and I flash my eyes open to see doctors trying to hold me down. I scream and beg to die when I somehow break free from their grasps and fly out the closed window. A blonde girl is holding me as we run inhumanly fast away from the hospital. She is beautiful. I feel safe in her arms and surrender to the darkness._

Rosalie, the blonde girl, saved my life. If I had stayed at the hospital, I would have killed all the people there the second I woke up. She brought me to her home with her sister Alice. She can see the future. She saw I was changing and Rose ran as fast as she could to the hospital to save me. She always said it was to save the human's lives and our secret, but I think she just wanted a new friend.

The second I woke up, I realized my eyes were different. My vision was sharper and everything seemed so vivid and clear. Alice jumped on top of me and started bouncing and yelling loudly that she was so excited she has a new friend. I winced at the sound, not because it was terrible, it was truly a beautiful voice, but it was so loud! Every one of my senses seemed more intense and alive! My throat burned like hell and Rosalie gave me a bottle of red liquid that I downed in seconds. They explained to me what we are: vampires. I didn't believe them at first, but reluctantly I understood and accepted it. They drank only animal blood to maintain their humanity.

But I wanted to see Edward. I woke up in the afternoon on Monday from my change and desperately wanted to see my love. Alice and Rosalie explained to me that it would be impossible. I would kill him. How can I kill the one that I loved? Tuesday, my glorious Tuesday with Edward, passed. I knew he would be so upset. He must have worried so much about me. What if he never discovered my death? Wednesday and Thursday passed and finally, Friday night, I snuck away from Alice and Rosalie to see him.

I drank a lot of blood before I left and ran to the prison cell. My speed and new powers were amazing! What should have been a three hour drive took no more than a half hour run. I silently broke into Edward's cell and saw he wasn't there. Where else could he have been?

I went into the sanctuary, where I knew Edward practiced his piano. His folder and music sheets were there. I read the one on top tabled "Leave Me in the Dark." It was about me. The song was the most beautiful piece I had ever heard in my life. I kept it so a piece of him was always with me. I knew I would never get to interrupt his life again.

I finally slipped into the infirmary and found my love sleeping on the bed there. Was he sick? I slowly walked closer to him, controlling my blood lust. It was far worse than with the guards. Their blood smelled wonderful, but Edward's was irresistible. It was calling to me. I pushed aside the monster that wanted to kill him when I saw his face.

His eyes were swollen from crying and his lips were chapped and bleeding from biting on them. He was wrapped in a scratchy blanket and looked so vulnerable. So hurt. He was moaning and rolling around on the bed, as if he was having a nightmare. I needed to let him know that I am okay. He would beat himself up about this for the rest of his life unless he let me go.

His life.

He has a full, human life in front of him. He can grow older and find love again. Time may heal all wounds. He can be a father and raise children. He can grow old with his new love and die with her. He will never have to hide away from society and cringe at what he has become. I will not hurt the one I love for my own happiness.

I felt my throat close up and try to cry, but only sobs wracked through my body. I stared at my sleeping love and I knew I would watch him until the end of his life, protecting him from harm. But, I needed to say goodbye.

I ran my fingers through his hair softly. His hair felt so much softer now because I can feel things so much better now. He stopped moving around and shivered because of the cold, I assumed. I giggled silently and kissed his forehead, letting my lips brush against his skin. Edward opened his eyes and I saw his beautiful, dazzling, green eyes. I felt myself melt at his gaze, but grew frightened quickly. He saw me! What if he goes around and tells people he saw me?! His eyes seemed concerned and I hid my true feelings. I just wanted to say goodbye, nothing else. I won't stay too long.

Edward licked his bleeding lips and tried to clear his throat. It was obvious that he has been sick for a while. His throat seemed so sore and unused. I did not want him in any pain. I put my finger against his lips to keep him from talking and he smiled. He kissed my frozen fingers. I couldn't help but smile at him. He was so good to me. I needed to let him know I will love him for the rest of my existence. I will never forget him. I felt like sobbing yet again. But that would only disturb our last moment together.

I bent over and kissed his warm lips with as much love as I could. A sharp shock tingled my lips and I pulled away, not wanting to break my heart anymore. A sob escaped from my chest silently. I stared into his eyes and caressed his cheek with such care. His eyes were filled with pure love and adoration. I knew right there I will never love anyone else like this. I pulled my hand away and ran as fast as I could.

I ran from the past, from my only love, and from my only happiness.

Alice and Rosalie found their soul mates dying on the battlefield during the War of Independence. They saved their lives and bit them, changing them into vampires. Jasper and Emmet. Their soul mates.

They were shocked to find me "still alive", as they put it. But I am never alive. Just existing.

They filled me in about Edward and I listened, as if I wasn't stalking him already. He was in a mental institution in America. He wasn't progressing at all for the month he was there. Guilt washed over me so terribly, I collapsed to the ground. As did Jasper. That was when we discovered he had a gift like Alice. He could feel emotions. As for Emmet, his gift was his strength, but that was all too obvious. As far as I knew, I didn't have a gift, which made sense. I didn't have any special qualities to begin with.

We moved to America, partly because Israel was getting too dangerous for vampires to stay with the blood shed. And partly because I wanted to watch over Edward. I would sneak into his hospital and watch him carefully. I had complete control over my blood lust at that point. My throat still burned, but it was getting easier to ignore. I watched Edward from a distance so I could still smell his blood calling to me more than anyone else, but ignored it and view it as a punishment for watching him.

I slipped up once. I went to him during the night. Emmet and Rosalie went at it like rabbits at night and I couldn't stand listening to them. So I went to Edward and stood in the dark shadows of his rooms. I listened to him dream and then scream during his nightmares. It killed me every time he screamed. I couldn't take it anymore. I ran over to him and ran my fingers through his hair again. He calmed down the second my fingers touched him. He almost even smiled. He pushed his head towards my hand more wanting me to bury my fingers in his hair and tangle them in it. He always used to do this. I sobbed so loudly wanting nothing but to have him hold me and feel his body against mind in comfort. He heard me. His hand searched around for me in his sleep and I pulled away and ran before he could find me. I kept my distance after that.

After a year and a half in the hospital, he was released back to Chicago. I knew he wasn't actually better. He was just pretending. But now he was under the watchful eye of his mother, so Jasper, Alice, Rose, Emmet, and I left him and we went to Forks, Washington, the rainiest town in the United States.

We pretended to be sophomores for the semester we started during the winter. With mindless homework and classes, I kept thinking about Edward. He never left my thoughts and I knew my clan was constantly worried about me. I didn't need their support or pity. I just needed my Edward.

We spent a year and a half in Forks. Time passed so slowly for me. Every day, every breath was connected to Edward. My existence revolved around him, and he was 2,224.38 miles away from me! Of course, I wasn't counting or anything…

Senior year. The best year of our lives. Yeah, okay.

It was just something to occupy my time with. Classes, homework, socializing, it was all too overrated for me. People cared so much about their social lives and their academics when none of them mattered to me. I just wanted to be invisible and not have anyone notice me.

Apparently it was time for lunch, but I stayed in the music room. I couldn't eat anyway, so why should I bother with the fake act and the socializing? My fingers danced across the piano gently. I didn't want to be rough with the piano like I used to be. If I did that now, it would only break the piano.

I just fooled around on the piano and found my fingers playing my song, my lullaby. I hummed along to the piano, loving every note Edward created for me. I hummed the lyrics and fell deeply into the music, feeling every chord stir my dead heart. I lost myself. When the song ended, I let the piano linger on the last chord and waited until it stopped drifting.

"Wonderful! Simply marvelous! Miss Swan, you have been holding out on me! This piece! Oh my! You must play it for your class! It will inspire them as it has inspired me!" Dr. Negri practically yelled. My music teacher, Dr. Negri, was very enthusiastic when I came to Forks with my talent. He taught me so much and I taught him too. He was truly one of my friends.

"Oh, Doc, I can't play this in front of people," I whispered loud enough for him to hear.

"Sweetheart, why not? It is beautiful! You're expression alone while playing it inspired me enough. But those notes! My dear, please play it for the class. If not for them, play it for me." He begged.

This Italian musician always held a dear spot in my heart. I reluctantly nodded my head and showed my music sheet for the first time to another pair of eyes. He ranted and raved over it like it was the stone tablets Moses brought down from Mt. Sinai.

Class finally started and Dr. Negri spoke for what seemed to be a decade, but it was only five minutes. I coughed loudly to let him know he was getting off track. He smiled and turned towards me and said simply, "I'll let her music speak for her."

I took that as my signal to play. I took a deep breath and started playing the beautiful chords. I closed my eyes and let myself lose control again and press against the keys softly as if I were running them through Edward's hair. I took a deep breath and sang the lyrics sweetly.

I barely heard the door open as a late student walked into the door as quiet as a human can be. I ignored it and sang the next words easily, putting as much meaning behind it as I could. I summoned all my love for Edward and expressed it through the music.

The song ended much too soon and I held the chords as long as I could before they drifted into the silent air. I kept my eyes closed, enjoying the silence and the perfectness of this moment, even though Edward will never hear me play this song.

I could even smell the alluring scent of his blood. I could hear his heartbeat beating wildly in his chest. I could picture his face in my head.

My hallucination was cut short by a pair of strong, warm hands engulfing my small, cold one. The person did not flinch away from its cold. My eyes flew open in shock and I saw the most dazzling pair of green eyes in front of me, bearing into my golden ones.

I felt my body relax when I should have run away as fast as I could away from him. He pulled me gently off the piano bench and into his warm embrace. He cradled my head in his hands as if I was the most precious thing in the world. It felt so good to be handled so gently when it was him who was so breakable to me. He breathed deeply and never took his green apple eyes off of me. He slowly brought his lips to mine.

And he kissed me.

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**AW! So cute, right? Love me? Now I wonder what will happen in the next chapter! Review, and I will.....send in a message to you a SPECIAL SNEAK PEEK PREVIEW OF THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Once in a lifetime opportunity people! You don't even have to give me criticism at all. Just tell me "I love it!" or "I hate it!" and you will get a preview!!!!!!! **

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	8. No Matter What

**Hey again! Here's Chapter 8 for you! Thank you so much to those who are reading this story! You guys don't get enough credit. But thank you especially to xoxsars1731 and cherryblossoms123456! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight cause if I did, Jacob wouldn't exist.**

**(In case you guys get confused, the first bit is from Bella's POV and later it goes back to the sexy Edward)  
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**BPOV**

Too many things happened at once:

Dozens of unfelt emotions rushed back into me. Love, lust, need, happiness, joy, etc. Feeling Edward's warm lips on my cold, dead ones, made me feel more alive and human than ever. I felt a rollercoaster of emotions as I carefully began tangling my fingers in his hair softly. It felt so much softer now because my senses were enhanced during my change. It felt so much softer now. I gently pulled at his hair like I used to, careful not to hurt one hair on his head.

Edward moved one of his hands from my cheeks and moved it to my lower back. He pushed me gently against him so I felt all of his warmth surrounding me. It felt so right to feel him next to me, so natural. I craved more of him and suppressed the urge to push him against the wall to show him how I really feel.

Yet I was suddenly aware of how close he was to me. It was a natural instinct to shy away from us. Because we are dangerous. Deathly.

Edward wasn't shying away from me. He was moving closer, catching me off guard with my defenses down.

And I wanted to kill Edward right there.

His scent surrounded me and engulfed me. I could feel his breath fan across my face, sweet and so innocent. His warm body pumping with the most wonderful aroma was inevitable to escape. The monster inside of me woke and threatened to kill my only love. All I needed to do was bite his lip right here and I could suck him dry from there. The witnesses, I could have dead within the minute.

His aroma filling up my senses. I can hear his sweet blood pumping through his vulnerable veins, begging to be sucked dry. I can feel his heat through his clothes, blood rushing through his body. I inhale deeply and his blood filled my nostrils. A guilty pleasure.

I want him dead now. I want to feel his blood slither down my throat, fulfilling my craving.

I wanted to open my eyes to evaluate the situation. Which witnesses will die first? Who was closer? Who will die first? But as my eyes snapped open like a predator ready to attack, I saw Edward's face. His eyes were still closed, savoring every second I was near him. I traced every inch of his face with my eyes. His perfection was astonishing. How I managed three years without him is a miracle.

He brought out the human in me.

All of these emotions exploded in me and pushed out the monster-like need. I love Edward. He has been through so much, such terrible events that no one should ever go through. He was in a mental hospital, because of me. Yet here he is, kissing me and proving his love to me even after I hurt him. I need to show him I love him too.

I held my breath to stop breathing and the monster in me argued. The monster wanted, no, needed this boy's blood.

I stood frozen until Edward pulled away. He opened his eyes and I saw his dazzling eyes yet again. The monster in me quieted. My entire body relaxed from its predator posture. _No._ My mind protested. _I need to be careful. I can't relax for one second when he's around. One wrong move and he's dead!_ The monster in me rejoiced at the thought.

The class erupted in a loud clap, bringing me back to reality. I looked at my classmates in disbelief. Was I really about to go kill them? End innocent lives?

Disgusted by myself, I took one look at Edward's innocent face. He had my favorite crooked smile on. One that always makes me smile back. I smiled and put a hand on his cheek and kissed it.

And that's when I ran out of the classroom at human speed as fast as I could.

**EPOV**

I kissed my angel.

This is unreal. Her cold lips bring me back to the person I was before everything. Back to when my life consisted of pita bread, newspapers, piano, and Bella on Tuesdays. I try desperately not to pull her as close to me as possible and hold her until she breaks. I want her to feel my love.

I let my hand slide from her cheek to her lower back, gently pulling her closer to me. I felt her shockingly cold fingers tangle themselves in my hair, just like she used to do. But it felt different. Before, she would twist and pull my hair and try to test my boundaries. Now, she just gently ran her fingers through my hair, as if I was so breakable. I breathed in her mouthwatering scent. She smelled so sweet.

Then she froze. Her body stiffened and her breathing stopped. Was she afraid of me? Did she not _want_ me anymore?

I pulled away and stared into her golden eyes. I knew my eyes were probably full of love and lust, but I didn't care. I hardly even noticed the class clapping and cheering us. I smiled at her, as if to thank her for loving me. She smiled back and placed her hand on my cheek.

And she ran away from me as fast as she could.

Wait, what? Why was she running from me? Did I do something wrong? My body filled with regret and guilt as I tried to ignore the tears stinging my eyes. I ran out of the door trying to follow her. I let her go one time. It will _not _happen again.

I was running faster than I ever ran. Faster when I was running from the soldiers in Israel before I was arrested. I turned into the parking lot and saw a brown haired girl standing in front of a silver Volvo. I slowly walked towards her.

"Bella?" I asked.

She froze and stiffened at her name. Good, so she heard me. "Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so forward. I just missed you. Please." I was so close to her. I could have lifted my arm and touched her shoulder if I wanted to. "Please." I whispered now. "Look at me."

At first I thought she was going to ignore me. But she slowly started turning around. Her hair cascaded over her face, hiding her eyes. Hiding from me. I pushed her hair back tenderly and cradled her cheek. "Bella, I love you." I said simply.

She shook her head fiercely and I dropped my hand. "You _can't_." She hissed.

I dropped my hand to my side. "What?" How could she do this to me?

Bella sobbed loudly. Was it hurting her to say this? "I'm a monster, Edward!" She spat out. "You can't love a monster." She sobbed again and crumpled to the pavement of the parking lot.

_She's hurt. _I kept repeating in my head. I need to help her. I bent down and just held her as she cried. I whispered in her ear how much I love her and everything will be okay. That only made her cry harder. So I did the one thing I knew made her happy no matter what. I sang in her ear.

Her breathing slowed and her body stopped shaking. I kissed her forehead and she hummed in happiness. I covered her entire face with butterfly kisses and she giggled. I pressed my forehead to hers when we were interrupted by the most evil creature I have ever heard:

"OMIGOSH! YAY! BELLA'S HAPPY! YES! I KNEW IT! I TOLD YOU SO! I TOLD YOU SO!" Alice screeched in our ears. Bella cringed and stared down the little pixie with as much hatred as she could. I just laughed and pulled her gently to her feet. She seemed so much lighter.

"Alice?" Bella questioned with her beautiful voice.

Alice stopped jumping up and down and asked, "Yes, my happy Bella?"

"Shut up!" She yelled. Alice's face fell and Bella pulled me away into her car. Alice started banging on the car, desperately trying to get in. Bella stomped on the gas and we drove away quickly.

Awkward silence filled the car.

I stared at the road as did Bella. I kept looking over at her to make sure she was really here and not another hallucination. Her beauty kept taking my breath away. I cleared my voice ad asked, "So, Bella, where exactly are we going?"

She put her window down despite the rain and inhaled deeply. Bella said in a strained voice, "A place I know. There'll be some hiking to do."

I simply nodded. Her whole posture was scaring me. Her knuckles were squeezing the wheel and her eyes were focused so much, too much, on the road. She looked so much different from the woman I fell in love with and I didn't know if it was a good or bad thing. She was obviously still beautiful. Her best features were enhanced to make her so alluring; it was distracting me so bad. Yet she looked, vicious and fierce. She knew how to protect herself now. She didn't look like my innocent lamb anymore.

We pulled up into an empty parking lot near a hiking trail. I got out of the car and started walking towards the trail while putting my hood up because of the rain.

"Edward?" Bella asked from behind me.

"Yeah?" I called back.

I heard her giggle and she asked, "Where exactly are you going?"

Where did she think I was going? Vegas? "Um, the trail?" It sounded more like a question.

She laughed out loud. Oh, that sound is like pure music to my ears. She walked so gracefully, completely un-Bella like, over to me and pulled at my hand. "This way."

I would have followed her to the streets of Hell.

She pulled me into the woods and started walking and practically dancing over the fallen trees and thorns. Her new grace astonished me. What happened to my Bella who fell over thin air? I kept following her for a few hours deep into the woods. I barely noticed the rain stopped until I saw a clearing up ahead. The sun was shining brightly and I realized Bella had vanished. "Bella?"

"Over here." I heard from the other side of the clearing. Wow, she must move fast.

I walked into the sun and I couldn't help but let my memory flash back to my early days in Israel.

_Flashback_

_The clean, stone streets of Jerusalem shined brightly in the burning sun above me. It's not because the sun is so bright here that I have to shield my eyes. I'm just so used to the windy Chicago weather, this is a surprising change. _Note the self,_ I thought. _Get sunglasses.

_The busy streets were crowded with tourists wanting to see the historical sites and store owners calling to the tourists to check out their place. Soldiers with guns walked around everywhere and no one seemed bothered by it. I looked at the faces of the civilians and I realized that everyone here is probably a part of the Hebrew Revolution Movement. _

_I scanned the crowd and I saw the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life. Her brown, doe-like eyes twinkled like stars in the midday sun. I realized then she was getting closer to me. I was walking straight towards her, unaware of my actions._

_She saw me walking towards her and froze. Her eyes bore into mine and I smiled to show I was a friend, not an enemy. She smiled shyly back and let her mahogany hair shield her gorgeous blush. I took my final step forward, admiring the natural red highlights in her hair. "Hey," I said smoothly._

"_Hi," she said shyly back._

_I knew the second I heard her musical voice this was the girl I want to spend forever with._

_End flashback._

"Edward, I'm going to show you something. You might be scared of me after this, but please know I'm only doing this to help you, to prove to you that what I am now is dangerous and threatens your life. I love you, Edward."

I stared at Bella and suddenly saw the major differences between the first time I met her and now. One thing stayed the same:

"I love you too, Bella. No matter what."

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**I had to suppress the urge to say "I love you, Bella. No matter what you do." cause my sister says it all the time :P**

**Reviews make me happy! **

**I will be updating my other story "Memories We've Forgotten" very soon so check that out please!**

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